im too emotional for my own good sometimes.
i consider myself a optimist, who's gone through some pretty tough times.
i broke up with him a few days ago
before you go hating on me
it was a horribly hard thing to do and i cried at seeing the distress behind his eyes
i wish never to harm anyone
but you see, being together was harming me.
we got along really well, but only when it came to sex
emotionally, we couldnt be more different and this difference was often percieved as not caring, which wasnt the case.
When someone refuses to talk to you or ask how you are for weeks at a time, i would come to the conclusion i had done something wrong and he was taking it out on me
sometimes i wonder if i had just subconciously been associated with sadness, as we are quite interlinked these days, and if that made him become so distant. because i equated to emotion, emotion that he couldnt deal with.
it was hard to be with someone whom i felt didnt care, and so defense mechanisms kicked in and i started pushing him away.
i started becoming depressed about my relationship as well as the 50 other things per day i find myself becoming depressed over.
these past year and a half since losing my father, i have done anything in my power to focus on the positives and find a way to rid myself of negatives in my life
if i didnt, my head would be underwater right now.
he became a negative..one i couldnt deal with
and so it had to come to an end
im finding it hard not to miss him though, and as soon as the lonliness kicks in i am a mess. hmmm :|
